Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience. Humans crave love from the moment of existence, and the Bible tells us that God is love. For Christian believers, love is the true test of genuine faith. Four unique forms of love are found in the Bible. They are communicated through four Greek words: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape.
For this blog, I want to focus on just two: Agape and Eros. Agape (Pronounced: Uh-GAH-pay) is the highest of the four types of love in the Bible. This term defines God’s immeasurable, incomparable love for humankind. It is the divine love that comes from God. Agape love is perfect, unconditional, sacrificial, and pure. Jesus Christ demonstrated this kind of divine love to his Father and to all humanity in the way he lived and died. Eros (Pronounced: AIR-ohs) is the Greek word for sensual or romantic love. The term originated from the mythological Greek goddess of love, sexual desire, physical attraction, and physical love. Even though the term is not found in the Old Testament, the biblical book Song of Solomon vividly portrays the passion of erotic love.
I am convinced that Eros love combined with a misunderstanding of Agape love causes some spouses to stay in domestic violence relationships. One example is that our physical attraction to a person can blind us to seeing their severe character flaws, especially their power and control issues. The courtship is wonderful. The person wants to be with us all the time because they love us so much. The Eros attraction is so strong that we can’t see their behavior as abnormal—after all, it’s love. Soon thereafter, we become isolated from our friends and family because we are so in love. The abuser has now gained control of our time and, most of all, our mindset.
Pure biblical Agape love desires the best for the object of that love. Jesus Christ died for us because He wanted the absolute best for us. He left the glory of heaven, became a man, died on the cross, and rose from the dead. He did this so that all of us would have the chance to gain eternal life and salvation. His pursuit was relentless, and no stone was left unturned. However, the one thing He never did in His pursuit of us was to sin.
All abuse is sin, especially physical, emotional, financial, and verbal abuse. The question is what should love look like in this environment? I stated earlier that Agape love wants what’s best for the object of its love. This is the side of love that we don’t fully think through. When we allow another person to abuse us in any form, we become a willing participant in their sin. They are sinning against God, themselves, and the person who is being abused. The abuser is engaged in the desecration of a person created in God’s image, and if we allow it, then so are we. The irony is that the abuser is also created in God’s image; therefore, the desecration is doubled. If there is any chance for the abuser to change, there must be severe consequences motivated by Agape love.